Friday, November 23, 2007

A Difficult Post

The latest Socks That Rock Club Kit arrived just before I did my last post but as they were still arriving didn't want to spoil it for anyone so waited till now. Hard to photograph but a very unusual colour and gorgeous in the flesh. Notice the little friends attached? They really are a little lifelike......

The pattern is lace and we know lace isn't my thing so I'll use something else. I did start the Firebird sock kit thinking it would spur me on, but I find the pattern a little beyond me right now so thats sitting waiting patiently.

I have managed a little progess on the 2nd CTH Louis Gems Merino sock though. Eventually it will turn into a complete sock and join its pretty brother and make a pair! It is a lovely colour but fingering weight yarn and teeny needles aren't what I need right now so its gone into hibernation for a while.

I started making this shrug from the latest Yarn Forward magazine while I've been ill as it was so simple even I could manage to knit it without totally messing up. Brain fog you see ;) I wasn't sure whether I'd like it and thought it might get frogged but once I'd finished the main body which is just a rectangle, it kinda looked rather good. Perfect for just slipping on when its a little nippy indoors or maybe for wearing in the car. And the yarn is from stash that I've had years. I like using yarn from stash ;)

I still haven't managed to take a picture of the almost FO blanket.......which is now having its ends sewn in, as I just keep forgetting. DH glued the defective Harmony which worked a treat, so I was able to carry on using it.

Ravelry forcing me to face up to my stash mountain has been good in some ways. Time to get rid of stuff that I've had for years, especially anything with manmade fibres in it. Not the Calmer of course, that doesn't count! And realistically, now matter how much I'd like to make Bomber, the jacket in Rowan Denim, it is never actually going to happen. It gives me chronic arm ache and the pattern is a pain as its not a standard rib so mistakes are far too easy. And even worse, you have to knit it longer than normal to allow for shrinkage! Knitting should be fun, and though it might be painful selling the packet of 20 balls I fondly remember buying in House of Fraser, I think I'll feel a lot better when its frogged and gone. I hope so anyway.......

Is anyone else feeling maybe its time to destash a little or sort out after Ravelry has made them face the reality of the size of their stash? Or is it just me......

I don't really know quite what to write about my illness. It's tempting to ignore my blog as I actually have to write stuff and at the moment I find Ravelry easier as I can just post pictures and say nothing. It's been a difficult time and rather than recovering, the minute I attempt to do anything requiring energy, I end up worse. As yet another failed attempt to go into work a few weeks back for an hour or so proved. Not helped by boss saying 'so you won't be doing end of month then' after telling him I wasn't better. I broke down in tears and more doctors visits ensued. I've been diagnosed with post viral fatigue and depression on top of the severe asthma. The fatigue explains a lot. The depression I've found hard to accept and deal with, but am now on medication and not so embarassed about it as I was. Neither have been helped by my asthma being the worst ever. I'm now on another lot of new medication for that too. My peak flow was so low when I saw the asthma nurse I was totally shocked. So, all in all, things haven't been good. I've been signed off by the doctor again and now won't be returning back to work. I never thought I'd suffer from depression, but the stress of my illness and the pressure of being forced to keep returning to work was just too much. I have no trouble standing up for myself but when you're already unwell you expect more from your employer than a load of stress and pressure. I wasn't even going to mention the depression on my blog initally, due to embarassment. I'm past that now. Funny how we react to things sometimes.

I have been to the Bristol Homeopathic Hospital though as I managed to get a cancellation which I was pleased about. Unfortunately the effort of getting to the hospital totally wiped me out and I'm still recovering from that. But the process has started and I've had my first remedy and have my next appointment at the beginnning of January.

So the knitting, blogging and leaving comments will be sporadic for a while. You'd think I'd get more knitting done but there are days when I can't manage a stitch. So I'm sticking to simple quick knit projects that aren't challenging and are easy to pick up and put down. And finishing something always gives you a boost doesn't it?

And this is one of my quick knit projects from 101 One-Skein Wonders (how I love that book!). the hat is really cute and I'm really pleased with it. It's called Ela's Favourite Hat for anyone interested and just uses a skein of Noro ;)

I also got the wonderful 101 Designer One-Skein Wonders which recently came out and is just as good if not better than the first book. There are several designs I already have plans to make. It's the perfect book for me right now, small, simple projects. My homeopathic doctor was quite impressed with my felted bag and said knitting was really good as it uses the other side of the brain. We already know that its good for us, don't we?

I also came across this book by Maggie Pace, who of course designs the Pick Up Sticks kits and patterns which I adore. She has a newer book which I'll get at some point. Meanwhile this book is full of patterns I'd like to make. Not yet, but hopefully soon.

15 comments:

Madge said...

Great big hugs! Hang in there, knit when you're able and know your friends in blogland are here if/when you need us.

P.S. That Noro hat is adorable.
P.P.S. Culling stash is always good. Out with the stuff you've outgrown, in with the new yummies (because nature hates a vacuum).

Chris said...

*careful hug*

Oh, Roxy, you have had such a time of it! :( I can totally understand being depressed with everything you have going on. I've suffered from depression off and on, lifelong - but health issues definitely make it worse for me.

I love the one-skein books!! Such clever projects.

Lindsey said...

I had to stop work because of depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia. I was embarrassed at first, but then I decided that if anyone was peculiar about it, then that was their problem not mine. If something was making you so unhappy, then it is definitely time to leave. Well done for making that decision.

Queen of the froggers said...

Dear Roxy, sending you huge hugs and I hope that with stopping work etc it will help. You have been through a lot lately with the illness it is not suprising you are depressed. xxx
I love to sell stash and re-buy so go for it! (and let me know whats for sale ;) !!!)

blog-blethers said...

Hope you're beginning to feel a wee bit more robust now. It's hard going to admit that we can all be fragile and a little vulnerable at times, isn't it? I have RA and know the impact the chronic pain can have on my mood at times. Another hug to you from blogland...

You're projects are just beautiful! I love your bags and the Gems socks are a stunning colour.

juliet said...

I'm glad you've been to the Homeopathic hospital, but the chances are you will feel worse to start with (partly an effect of the relief of being able to get the help you need and your body finally admitting/succumbing to reality rather than trying to soldier on as well as the effort of getting there to the hospital), it will take time - but relax and let that happen, you want to get thoroughly well not just back to "coping"! Sending big hugs and positive thoughts your way

Mandella said...

I'm sorry to read that you've been so poorly. Don't be embarrased about depression, it's just an illness like any other and as such can be treated. The Homeopathic Hospital is a good start.

As for the little visitors on Lenore, those things should carry a health warning. I didn't see them through the plastic and when I took it out of the bag I noticed them and actually screamed - loudly enough for DH to come running!

I know what you mean about Ravelry being easier too. It's been my lifeline over the past few months.

Best wishes, very carefully given.

Curly Cable said...

Big gentle hugs to you... You have really been through it, with one thing after another. Don't feel embarassed about the depression, it really is quite common, especially with what you've been through, its your bodies way of forcing you to slow down. I suffered with depression, on and off for years, but you'll find the meds will really help, just give yourself lots of time and just do what you can, as and when you feel up to it, like Juliet says, it important to be well, not to just cope. De-stashing is a fabulous idea, selling old stuff to buy new is a great moral boost, and at least you know the yarn you sell, all goes to good loving homes;) Your Noro hat is so cute, fab colours and all from one skein, WoW, I have that book on my christmas wish list. The Gem sock is super, I love the pretty colours. Take care Roxy, you know where I am if you fancy an e-chat Gentle Hugs xx

Kathleen said...

With best wishes for a good recovery :-) x Kathleen

Angel said...

I am sorry you are not feeling well, but I hope you will be on the mend soon... sometimes It takes a while for everything to just get back to normal.

And don't feel bad about the depression- it just happens and its not your fault. My second year in college I fell into a severe depression and it turned out to be because I had moved from a very sunny place (California) to Boston, which gets gloomy in the winter... I just needed more "sun" and once that was remedied, I felt a lot better. So remember that the meds and stuff are their to help you.

Mary said...

Sorry to hear you've been having such a rough time. Hang in there; it sounds like you are getting the time, space and medication to help you. Don't be embarrassed about the depression - it's an illness like any other, and plenty of people suffer from it at one time or another.

Piglottie said...

Hun, I haven't been around on blogland lately so have only just read your post. First, huge *hugs* to you. You have had such a lot to deal with, and I think depression is your body's way of saying not only are we tired physically, but we've had enough mentally and need to shut down for a while. I have just come out of 2 years (on and off) of depression and really feel for you as its not an easy road by any means, but nor should you be embarrassed. If you need anyone to talk to, you know where I am.

PS: The STR Lenore is stunning, love it!

PPS: The hat is too cute.

Diane said...

I hope you start to feel better soon.

sarah said...

Roxy
My thoughts are with you. I have suffered from depression for years and have found blogland a fantastic way of coping. Take a look at stitchlinks if you ever want to chat to like-minded knitters and stitchers.

knitonlybutalso said...

Hello Pet - still thinking of you - I'm sending lots of big huggy warm thoughts your way. You have great taste in projects (the shrug in that colour is going to be delicious and I love the hat - it is too cute for words), be good to yourself and allow yourself to acknowledge that you are needing time to get well - biggest hugs little buddy